depressed
Mood:  down
i am sitting here in my room. nothing to do but think. so many hard decisions in life. it all seems kinda pointless anymore. i need people to always be around or i will literally go crazy. and i need someone here right now. i think that is all i want to write at the moment. i am going to go lay on my floor and stare at the white ceiling, contemplating why i am alive.



Sunshine* (kinda ironic)

well, it has been a really long time since my last update. almost a month now. we finally got moved into our apartment. we have been here a while now. and nobody has visited me yet. but its ok. i am still in the process of making friends here at edgewood. i thought it would be a lot easier than it is. i guess i just dont remember what it was like when i moved into new miami. but i do have a few friends. the sad thing is is that the majority of them i only know because i am going out with emily. and i am beginning to think that if we ever broke up, these people would stop associating with me all together. but its ok, not a big deal.

my school is going ok, nothing too special to talk about. my grades arent the best in the world. but thats not surprising. moving from new miami to edgewood takes some adjusting. i just cant believe it finally happened. after like a year of trying to talk my mom into it, it finally happens. and before i moved to edgewood, i thought the entire school was made up of extremely hot girls. now that i am here, i was right, but 98% of them are cocky, stuck-up, concieted, whores. and that same 98% i wouldnt go out with in a million years. my anatomy class has to be the hardest, i have a D in there. we had a test wednesday, a test friday, we have a test tuesday, and a test friday. it is rediculous! we had to do sit-ups in there the other day. emily is in that class with me. and he said that if i couldnt do more than emily, i had to wear a john kerry shirt. but then emily butted in and said that if i cant beat her, then i have to wear makeup the next day. needless to say, i didnt wear makeup, because i beat her. you see, all these people think that i cant be athletic. i am a very athletic person, always have been, but i just choose to be lazy. the lactic acid has built up in my stomach, and it sucks. stupid muscles. that one anatomy class has convinced me to change my major in college. i dislike the idea of learning about the human body for 8 years of college to be a radiologist. i am going to major in college in english. i am going to be a novelist/english teacher. its going to be great. i am a really good writer.

last night we had a concert at the church. it was really really boring for the first two bands. it was like unbearable. i wanted to go and get something to eat so bad! but the last band was ok. the lead singer was really serious and had some good things to talk about. so i payed really close attention to him. it all turned out really good. although, i dont think we sold enough tickets to cover the price. but it was all ok.

we went to TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA the other night. i completely love that band! i cant wait for them to come next year. i am definitely going! i would go into more detail, but i wont right now. maybe later.

emily came over today, it was really fun. although, i always have fun when i am around her. she is fantabulous!

I Love You!

Sunshine*

WOOOOOOOW!!!!
Mood:  irritated
finally, something interesting i can write about. ok, we had our play this weekend. i am on the tech crew. it was interesting! last night was our first performance. 5 girls wallets got stolen from their wallet. but i dont know what to think it was. because they stole the wallet out of the purse, but not the cameras or cell phones. WEIRD!!! there are only a select few people that could have done it. we pulled everyone into the green room and talked to them. it was like Clue!!! we knew it was someone in the room, but we didnt know who. it was really freaky! i think someone tried to sabotage the play. the door was jammed shut in a way that looked intentional. then there were light problems. it was really scary at times. running around back stage trying to find someone causing all this. like in the movie "i know what you did last summer". like they were hiding in the shadows and we couldnt find them. it was like a play inside a play. really freaky!

then we were going to try to go to applbees like we did last night.

last night at applebees it was soooo funny. i sent one of the cast, my friend drew, a drink and then a napkin with my name and number on it. it was funny. but tonight emily's parents felt like being crap heads. but its ok. all parents do that at sometime.

we are moving into our apartment this weekend. we are halfway there. should be done by monday. then i found out that someone from my moms work went to the high school and told them i didnt live in the district. stupid cunt can go to hell. if i see her i will call her a cunt too. that pissed me off.

well, i just ordered a pizza, and i am tired, so i am going to go.

I Love You!

Your Boobies' Names Are: Dessert and Dinner

Your Porn Star Name is: Rod Steel

What is your Anti-Drug?

fun weekend
Mood:  flirty
well, this weekend overall was ok. nothing too special i guess. i didnt get to spend too much time with emily. but i guess its ok. i will get over it.

Friday: i really dont remember. if you want to inform me. go for it.

Saturday: well, we had a really great time going around praying and handing out cookies. some people were really nice. but then again, some of them were complete ______!!! but its ok. then after that i went home until 6. then i went to a concert for my old church. and at 6:30 i went to emily's so we could go to lurees birthday party. it wasnt the most exciting. but then again, when is hanging out with a bunch of freshmen exciting?

Sunday: i went to church. then i went home. then we went to the mall. we just looked around. got an idea for what i am going to get people for christmas. should be fun. then i came home and sat here. emily called. which made me extremely happy.

i remember what happened friday. after school, emily came over and we baked cookies......


I Love You!

(x) - you've done
(_) - you haven't done
(?) - maybe...

(x) ever smoked marijuana
(x) been drunk
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(_) crashed a friend's car
(_) stolen a car
(_) been to Japan
(x) played mailbox baseball
(_) ridden in a taxi
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(_) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) kicked someone's ass
(_) snuck out of my parent's house
(_) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
(_) ever dated someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(_) been arrested
(_) made out with a stranger
(_) stole something from my job
(_) celebrated new years in time square
(_) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(_) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(_) been to Europe
(x) skipped school
(_) slept with a co-worker
(_) been married
(_) gotten divorced
(_) had children
(_) had sex
(_) seen someone die.
(_) been to Africa
(x) had a crush on one of my Live journal friends
(x) Slapped someone I loved
(_) Driven over 400 miles to attend a show/festival/fetish ball
(_) Been to Canada
(_) Been to Mexico
(_) Been on a plane
(x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(_) Thrown up in a bar
(x) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(_) Eaten Sushi
(_) Been snowboarding
(x) Met someone in person from the internet (not in a sexual context...)
(_) Been moshing at a concert
(_) had real feelings for someone you knew only online
(_) been in an abusive relationship
(_) been pregnant or got someone pregnant
(_) lost a child
(_) gone to college
(_) graduated college
(_) tried killing yourself
(x) taken painkillers
(xxx) love someone or miss someone right now
(_) met Bill Gates

Hmmmmm.....BOO!!!
Mood:  flirty
Now Playing: monday night football
well, this weekend was really good i think. friday night we went to the movies to see alfie. i liked the movie. and i liked even more having my arms around my absolutely gorgeous girlfriend for hours. then saturday i found out emily was sick. which made me feel bad that i couldnt be there with her. so i was lonely saturday. then sunday morning i went to church. then afterwards i went over to emily's and we had a picnic. which was really fun. then today was fun because i got to see emily! so that makes my day in itself!

I really want to spend more time with emily though. I Love You Baby!!!

EMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mood:  energetic


Happy 17th Birthday Emily!!!!!!!!!